Smitty City

A guy, whose name hasn't yet been revealed, asked for a longer jail sentence in his hearing yesterday because of his obsessive love for Larry Bird. This is not a joke. Somewhere in this great nation of ours sits a man who could not have lived with himself if his prison sentence did not correspond with the number of his all-time favorite basketball player. He was sentenced to 30 years in jail for a crime that he committed, but he asked the judge if she would step it up three years so that he could be locked down with the same number that was on Bird's jersey. "I'm the greatest Bird fan who ever lived...and I guess this proves it," said the newly incarcerated man. What a meatball.

Should have been a Jordan fan



-scroll down to read about the Yankees and Satan's number