Smitty City

Growing up in Jessamine County, I was the butt of many redneck, hick, country bumpkin, no shoe wearing, John Deere drivin' jokes that cut to the core of my being. If you ever took part in the verbal assault of an innocent Jessaminian...well, I forgive you and so does the Lord. But there is one issue that I think needs to be addressed in relation to this problem. Many of you out there need to skip lunch so that you'll be ready for the enormous portion of crow that is being served for dinner. What am I talking about....oh, I think you know. If I had a quarter for every time I was harrassed about the Jessamine County mall... then I'd proabably have about $7.50. Anyway, everybody reading this post has at some point poked fun at Wal-mart as being a vital asset to the life of rednecks, more specifically, Jessamine County natives.
Well, all I want to say is.............."NOW WHAT!" In 2005, life can't be lived correctly if Wal-mart is not visited at least 3 times per week. It is a necessity. Food, cds, dvds, books, and now even clothes from Sam Walton's life work are constantly sought after. Faded Glory baby! So, if you see a Jessaminian walking down the street, and trust me you'll be able to pick them out (because of our God-given glow), then politely pull over and say somthing along these lines, "Sir or ma'am, I am sorry about that old redneck mall thing...I visit Wal-mart probably more than you do. Please forgive me....and, uh, would you like a ride, I see that your green tractor has broken down."