Smitty City

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say: "I think I'll sqeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out of them!"
2.Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes out of it's butt."
3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human would eat?
4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer ?
5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares...then why is there a stupid song about it ?
6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in a carpool lane ?
7. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat ?
8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask for a bathroom?
9. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
10. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made of?
11. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
12. Why do the "Alphabet" song and "Twinkle Twinkle little star" have the same tune?
13. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
14. Why is that when someone tells you there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere you have to touch to make sure?
15. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
16. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap why didn't he just buy dinner?
17. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
18. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
19. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?